So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
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