I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
