He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
