Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Randomize