But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She needs sedatives and a leash
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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