that's an acceptable place to lick
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
