I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
