at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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