haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I wish my penis had an off switch
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
