i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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