Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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