if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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