I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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