OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
