I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
