thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
