my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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