Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Randomize
