he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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