Having a random hookup so left but love u
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
