They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
