He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize