I want to stick my p in your. b.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
