A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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