he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
