we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
