is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
