Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize