Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
