sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
