ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize