im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
