i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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