I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
