you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
