I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize