Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
