i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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