I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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