I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
