I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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