it hurts more in the daytime
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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