do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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