How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
