I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
