ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
