I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
The best revenge is premature balding
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
