Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
