theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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