i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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