Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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