that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
