just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize