do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
