Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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