Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She's the barista slut.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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