what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
