I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize