Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
