Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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