A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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