But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize